running away

I am running away to Amanda's this weekend. John was supposed to come up here to visit this weekend, well thats out. And right now I cant be here, everything just reminds me of him and makes me even more upset. So it w

John's valentines present is sitting on my kitchen counter :(.... I guess I should return it... I will do that later though -- I don't think I can bring myself to do that yet :(.... well I guess he will be happy, he doesnt have to get me anything now... not that he would have, I didn't get a x-mas present either, I still gave him a present (well two presents) and drove up there to see him, and well nothing... I guess this whole thing has been pretty one sided... the only time he helped pay for anything was last weekend and thats because i got locked out of my credit card for accidentally putting the wrong address and phone number ( i have switched so many times lately its hard to remember what still has which address) and he said that was him paying me back. We were in best buy one day and his check was declined because he was righting them way out of sequence... so basically i shelled out a couple hundred dollars for that stuff... plus all the gas and what not that i paid for to visit and what not... so buying me a two hundred dollar ticket is no where near paying me back...