John is an ass!!!!!!!!!

well its official, here i am broken hearted yet agian, you guys are probably sick and tired of hearing about this shit!!!!!!!!! OH well, John has decided that its over between us, he is not happy. Now he is happy with me, he is just not happy with the situation (aka being a ways away from one another). So i am here wanting to plunge a dagger deep into my heart, and he is now free to date people and be "happy". WTF why does he have to make me miserable inorder for him to be happy. and why did he have to get back together with me after xmas, if he was just going to do this again a month later!!!!!!!! Why couldnt he have just stayed away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or just remained a friend. Cause here I am now, even more hurt than last time! OH god how am i gonna get through this agian, i dont think i can. How many times can one's heart be broken and repaired, I think i have used up most of mine... When we got back together -- i asked him if he had thought everything through and if he was sure and he said "yes of course"... well apparently he didnt and here i am hurt!!!!!!!!! Hell the other day (yes it was during a drunken stooper, but usually people tell the truth when drunk), he said he wanted to marry me -- now not right this moment, but that he eventually wanted to marry me.... So where the fuck did that come from!!!!!!!!!!!! And where the fuck did this come from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH And we had made some plans, he was going to a wedding with me in nov (which he will not be attending now :() and he was going to go to germany with me this summer... now i dont really know if i want to go!!! The main reason I wanted to go was because he loves it there, and i wanted to see it with him... and this summer I would have a chance to go see it with him.... :(.... BOYS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I am going to go home now and probably cry untill i pass out :(....