BAR >> JENNY

Ok, well I am pissed... Let me give you some background first...

Ray and I started dating a year ago (from the 4th of july), everything was going well. . . a year goes by and our 1 year anniversary is approaching. Unfortunately ray has to go home (Pa) for a wedding the same week so, we decided to celebrate when he gets back. So, prior to him flying back he tells me that he thinks we would be better off as good friends, mind you I still get to pick him up from the airport. He thinks we should be good friends, and then maybe later we might try to date again. WTF I was totally surprised, everyone I know was surprised by this. And honestly I do not understand why. So, needless to say . . .broken hear. One of the major problems with this, besides the obvious, is that he is actually trying to be my friend, the day after he got back, he shows up at my apartment with Chinese food and wanted to hang out and watch TV. . . Apparently he doesn't understand anything. I can barley stand to be in the same room with him right now. And I told him this. . . but he doesn't understand why we cant just be instant friends. Like there is some switch that can just be turned on and off.

So. . . knowing all this, its been what like a week and a half since we broke up. And needless to say he is still trying to be buddy buddy with me. So, while we are at school (we are in the same department/building) I am nice to him, and pretend to be happy when I am there (which I am not!!). He was at the department before me so, most of the people who I hung out with are his friends. I am here with basically no friends. There is one person who I consider a friend, but she lives on the Louisiana side (45 min away) so its hard to get her to do anything. The rest in the department are just civil to me, I am no longer invited to anything unless there is a mass invite.

I am trying to be "friends", which basically consists of him being buddy buddy and me pretending to be fine and friends, when all I really want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

So this brings us to tonight (finally, I know. . . I apologize for all of the whinnying). Most of the students are going out the the beach bar (hole in wall bar in the town I live, one of the few things to do on a Friday night). And of course Ray is there along with all of his "friends", who are not my "friend", so basically it is going to be another weekend where I hang out by my self and do nothing. Well, I come home from school and I am walking up the stairs and my knee gives out (comes completely out of socket), so I pop it back into place and hobble up the rest of the way, and plop onto the couch. So I hang out there watching TV for a while and then decide that I am hungry, so I try to get up of the couch and . . . my knee is yet again out of its socket and I crumble to the ground. So I pull my self up onto the couch, hang out there for a while more and try this again, and get the same results. Now I try this a total of 4 times before I decide to stop trying. Normally this is not a big deal, I have a thing to put on my knee to keep it in place. However, this is in the trunk of rays car (we used his car the last time we went to the gym (prior to breakup)). So, I call him and tell him that I cannot use my knee etc... and he says "well what do you expect me to do", so I tell him I need the brace for my knee and he tells me "you don't need that, all you need is ice", I inform him that I really cannot make it to the freezer to get ice (im not about to drag myself, and hopping would just cause my other knee to do the same). So, I ask him if he could come and help me and all he says is "What do you expect me to do". Now mind you, he is the one who wanted to be friends, and if one of my friends called me saying they needed help like this, I would be over there asap.

So, more words are said. . . and basically what he tells me is that he doesnt want to leave the bar, so no help for me. And like I said, there is really no one else for me to call, they are all at the bar with him, and the one person who would help me is 45 minutes away and has likely been in bed for a good couple of hours at this point. I then ask, "if you are to drunk to drive, would you stop drinking, and sober up and in a couple of hours when you can drive, come and help me". I get a big old fat "no I am not leaving the bar".

So here I am it is now midnight, I haven't eaten dinner yet, I cant get off of the couch (I've tried a few more times), and if at some point I have to go to the bathroom. . . Well that's going to be interesting.

So, that is why I am pissed off, apparently the bar is more important.

I apologize is this is a little scattered and if I ramble on a bit, but like I said, I am a little pissed and angry and hungry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!