Birthday Cake

so why do I do this, I really should know better by now, I need to learn to expect absolutely nothing from people (other than a select few of you that i can actually count on -- )... So my birthday was Sunday, and since it is hard to do much on sundays here -- everything closes early and what not... we (being ray and pradnya) decided to do my birthday dinner on saturday, dinner in mandiville, not far from stennis, 20min drive, which is normal for anywhere around stennis...so an email was shot out letting everyone know the plan and what not... so shortly before we go ray informs me that no one else is going, aka just prad ray and i... apparently everyone in the department was way to busy to come eat dinner with me for my birthday, even though i always attend everyone else's bday dinners... ok, yah some may have had some good excuses... well sorry.... sitting at home doing nothing is not, as one informed me on monday that thats what they did on sat.... and well most of them didnt say anything... they didnt even say happy birthday on monday.....

besides the dinner thing, usually someone brings a cake and everyone in the dept, students and profs, sing happy bday and the whole shibang.... well monday morning someone comes into my office shoves a cake in my face and says happy birthday... so we put the cake down and i figure they will let me know when they wanna do the whole singing thing.... usually the president of SOS figures that out (the student organization)....so... well this was monday, and at 5:00 today still nothing.... so I figure hell its my cake im gonna have a slice, so i go grab ray to see if he wants a slice to... and i go to get my cake. so i walk in my office, becky my office mate is there... i ask her if she wants a slice as well... and well she informs me that people have already had some... WTF... how rude is that... its rude enought that i dont get the same consideration as everyone else... but to cut into a cake that was for my birthday before i even get a slice or a "happy b-day" is fucked up.....

I really do wish I could just not care about any of this... I wish I could just say fuck you all... but it still hurts:(.... I cant help that no matter how hard I try. I dont know what I am gonna do in the fall and next spring, Prad and Ray are going to graduate, and well they are the only ones who i talk to or who dont treat me like shit or like i am not here... It is going to be a miserable year, I am sure I will be more productive :(.... but not having anyone to talk to or do anything with is not a good reason for being productive, :(